VH1 recaps Britney’s night last night. Finally it was normal.

7AM: Britney rises early and heads out for a jog wearing a supportive sports-bra, a tank top that covers her stomach, actual shorts and sneakers. Her short, natural hair is pulled back in a headband.
9AM: On the way home for her run, Brit stops by a local coffee shop for a small cup of green tea.
10AM: Britney takes a long, hot shower, washes her hair, scraps off her fake tan and scrubs her finger nails.
11AM: The starlet chews some Nicorette while cleaning out her entire closet, and donates her collection of skanky shirts, butt-revealing dresses and beat-up boots to charity.
12PM: Britney’s kids come over for a visit and she makes then a healthy meal, plays with them in the yard, and puts them down for a nap.
4PM: Mama Brit drives (below the speed limit) her reasonably-priced hybrid vehicle to the farmer’s market and picks up some vegetables and fish for dinner.
6PM: The family gathers for a meal made of actual food, followed by a G-rated movie together.
8PM: Britney goes to bed. Alone.

According to News of the World, K. Fed was so worried about Britney and his kids the night of their January 3rd standoff because she had a gun that he gave her for her birthday.

The News of the World can reveal that K-Fed, 29, panicked on Thursday night after realising the fallen pop princess kept the handgun—a Beretta 92FS—in the master bedroom where she was holding the kids, Jayden James, one, and Sean Preston, two.

Convinced that in her out-of-control state she would use the weapon to kill the lads then turn it on her herself, the wannabe rapper rang his lawyers who alerted the authorities.

Britney reaches over to give her creepy papparazzi boyfriend/lover a taste of her lollipop.

In other funny Britney news, there was a video of her and Adnan kissing that was mysteriously pulled off of Youtube earlier today. At least we have a picture of it. (Small side note: Adnan Ghalib is married.)

Enjoy the neverending BritZilla drama.

(photo: Mark J. Terrill / AP)

Jessica Alba tells Elle Magazine recently:

“He looks like a child with a lot of makeup. I was like, ‘My God, you’re just a little kid.”

How funny and TRUE!  The two won the Teen Choice Award for Hotties of the Year.

The last 4 days have been a huge mess in the life of Britney Spears.  Here’s a full recap of the events that started on January 4th (last Friday).

January 3rd 

K. Fed showed up at Britney’s house to take their kids which he has legal rights to do. Britney locks herself in her bathroom with the kids and refuses to come out. The police come and take Britney away in an ambulance.

January 4th

Britney remains in the hospital all day but makes a huge scene because she wants to get out. Word was that she was yelling up and down the 7th floor of Cedar Sinai hospital. Surprisingly to everyone she tests negative for illegal substances.

Did anyone think about prescription pill abuse?

Britney also loses full custody of her children to this man.

January 5th

Britney is released from the hospital but her family is very worried and wants her to go back in. Obviously she refuses and the family calls on the help of Dr. Phil who creepily drives down to visit Britney.

 (source: photopro / Landov)

Britney freaks out and runs away from Dr. Phil. He proceeds to cancel his TV show episode about Britney.

On Monday, Dr. Phil goes on TV to say that he went to the hospital at the request of Britney’s mother and family.

January 6th

Britney and her new “boyfriend”, the creep Adnan Ghalib somehow avoid paparazzi attention and drive up to Santa Barbara where Britney is photographed on their balcony with no pants on. The creepy Adnan and Britney walk the streets, hit Starbucks and relax in their hotel room.

X17 Online is reporting that Adnan and his company are setting up Britney and are pitching their story to networks for $5 million dollars.

Over the weekend, K. Fed beefed up his security for fear of what Britzilla might do. Here’s what a source close to K. Fed told OK Magazine:

“The boys are safe for now,” the source reveals to OK!. “But Kevin feels Britney is clearly deranged, and there’s no telling what she’ll do. After all, this is a woman who two days ago barricaded herself in her bedroom with her youngest child for three hours!” Adds the insider, “You can’t get mentally well in a hospital after 36 hours.”

January 7th

There are contradicting reports about where Britney and Adnan might be hiding. Some report Santa Monica, some Hollywood, and some Palm Desert but the fact is that Britney is potentially in bad company with someone who she says is her “only friend in the world” (source).

That’s the 4 day recap for now. Tons of drama with no end in site for Britzilla. What a way to start 2008.

As expected, I Love New York 2 Reunion show brought 1.5 hours of entertainment. All the show’s best personalities came out and some went at it.

Here’s the walk we’ve all seen. New York strutting her stuff. Those implants looked nicer and bigger than ever!

One of the highlights was Mr. Wise (#4 friend) leaping across the stage to take a shot at the most spineless p*ssy in the world Tailor Made. The reason it wasn’t the #1 highlight is because Mr. Wise missed. DAMMIT!

It was classic when Lala then said, “I’m not starting again until I know where Mr. Wise is.” Come on Lala, Mr. Wise was the most calm and collected guy on the whole show.

Now for the “I JUST PUKED” award, take a look at Sister Patterson making out with Champion. Ugh, I almost just puked again…

 (click to enlarge)

Yes there was tongue and all in that kiss. It lasted a good 15 seconds too. They’re doing the dirty as we speak.

Buddha is a good dude.

Milliown is a nobody who was talking sh*t the whole night trying to start drama.

Here’s what happened when Pretty called out Punk for backstabbing him after Pretty left the show. When Buddha stood up for Punk, Milliown started calling Buddha gay for sticking up for Punk. This is what ensued.

Milliown was kicked out of the studio before Buddha could pummel him.

Midget Mac and It are also fan favorites so here you go.

Forget the fact that It brought 1 cinder block and 3 bricks and tried breaking them onstage to show New York his manliness and instead focus on the fact that after New York threw french fries in It’s face, It took those fries and threw them down New York’s shirt with one of them clearly landing down those huge implants. Way to go IT!! 

At the end of the night, conniving Tailor Made and New York revealed that they weren’t going to let a TV show hold them back from showing each other their love that they moved in together 3 days after filming ended. Tailor also showed New York his final divorce papers and then proceeded to propose to her. New York accepted and they are now engaged. I know this is old news, but it was officially supposed to come out tonight.

(Images courtesy of VH1 Blog.)

5 minutes from now is the I Love New York reunion show. Thanks to Perez, we know that Tiffany Pollard and George (whatever his last strange name is) Tailor Made are still engaged and going strong. Be sure to watch it for all the trashy drama. I know I will be.

Tila Tequila grew on me during the last few episodes of her show A Shot At Love with Tila Tequila. Then when she picked Bobby Barnhart I thought she made a good decision for once in her life… only to find out what a scam her whole persona is.

During the reunion show on MTV on January 23rd Tila sat next to Bobby, practically dry humping him and talking about how they had “phone sex” because they couldn’t see each other for the prior 2 months. Okay, they looked genuinely happy with to see each other and rekindle their “love”.

Suddenly on New Years Eve during Tila’s Masquerade Ball on MTV, she announces that she will star in A Shot At Love TWO because her relationship with Bobby didn’t work out. WTFFFFF!!!

One week ago, Tila was humping Bobby on stage and now suddenly they broke up? These things happen right?

In Tila’s case.. Wrong. It was a planned publicity stunt all along. Tila knew there would be a Shot At Love 2 for at least the last 2 months because they have been casting for the show that long ago. Here’s when they registered the domain and started casting.

Here’s where you audition. And here is what was written over 2 months ago now:

We’re scouring the country once more in search of the most eligible, alluring, outrageous, and adventurous men and women to go head-to-head for a chance to win the heart of our bi-sexual bachelorette in the ultimate battle of the sexes because all is fair in love and war.

If you are at least 21 years old, and have the sex appeal, heart and spirit to win the love of our gorgeous Bi-Bachelorette, then we want to hear from you!

Would you expect anything less of someone who made their way up the D-list celebrity ladder by making her own soft core porn and semi naked pictures only to place them on Myspace and be the first to a million friends?

According to E! Online, Penelope Cruz was not making out with her sister, but instead with actress Mia Maestro in Penelope’s brothers new music video. That’s still hot.

Word on the street is that Ashley Olson was partying last night at Area Nightclub in Hollywood. She was sitting in the outdoor portion for most of the night and not bothered by too many people.